Everybody Wants to F*ck Me is exactly the kind of chaotic, outrageous film that could soon become an essential date-night movie.
Written by Elizabeth Mulloy
It is no secret that the dating scene today can feel absolutely terrible; it is its own version of hell. With so many people putting on a performance, whether they are trying to find a partner or simply score a one-night stand, it can be incredibly difficult to figure out the true motivations of the person sitting across from you.
One of the worst offenders you can encounter in the dating scene is the performative male. These are men who present themselves as deeply knowledgeable about feminism and committed to women’s issues. They read women’s literature primarily, attend feminist lectures, and go out of their way to demonstrate how much they supposedly care about women. Yet, for some, the entire performance is ultimately a means to an end: getting laid. And once they get what they want, the performance abruptly ends. They disappear without warning, leaving the woman feeling unsatisfied, frustrated, and ashamed, while the man simply moves on to his next conquest, adding another tally to his score.
So, imagine the following situation: What if a performative male had a strange one-night stand with a woman and woke up the next morning unable to remember what happened? He doesn’t think much of it, yet he just feels slightly different. But in the days that follow, he begins to notice something strange: every woman who comes near him seems irresistibly attracted to him and wants to have sex with him.
At first, it seems like a dream come true. But what begins as his ultimate fantasy quickly turns into his worst nightmare. Women claw, bite, and fight over him, and he finds himself with seemingly no escape from their relentless attention. Trapped in a situation he can no longer control, he is forced to confront an uncomfortable question: what kind of person is he really? Will this experience actually change him, or will he simply find a way to justify his behaviour and continue as before? This premise lies at the heart of Jonathan Schey’s Everybody Wants to F*ck Me.
When we meet Adam, played brilliantly by Taron Egerton (Rocketman), he is an absolute piece of shit. Egerton, who continues to prove that he is one of Hollywood’s most underrated leading men, showcases not only his comedic talents but also his impressive range as a horror actor. Adam is the perfect encapsulation of the performative male. He treats women as prey and sexual objects while simultaneously presenting himself as a progressive, feminist ally. His supposed activism is little more than a performance designed to make him appear caring and enlightened. So, when women suddenly begin throwing themselves at him, he initially loves it. It is everything he has seemingly wanted. But what begins as a fantasy quickly becomes overwhelming, and before long, Adam finds himself trapped in a situation he has no idea how to escape.
For a writing and directorial debut, Jonathan Schey sure makes one hell of a statement with his feature debut. For roughly the first half of the film, Schey strikes a near-perfect balance between dark comedy, biting satire, and a surprisingly charming romance as we follow Adam through the chaotic and often miserable dating scene in London. There is a real sense of fun to this portion of the film, especially as Schey uses Adam’s behaviour to poke fun at the absurdity, hypocrisy, and performative nature of modern dating.
However, once the women surrounding Adam suddenly become ravenous for him, the film smoothly transitions from a dark romantic comedy into a full-blown horror-thriller without ever losing its satirical edge. It is an impressive tonal shift, and Schey manages to make the transition feel surprisingly natural rather than jarring. What starts out as Adam’s ultimate fantasy quickly becomes a nightmare, and the film embraces that descent into chaos with plenty of dark humour.
The horror sequences strike the right balance between queasy, absurd, and genuinely unsettling. Some moments will make you squirm, moments that will make you laugh at just how completely insane the situation has become, and moments that are surprisingly disturbing. The comedy works particularly well because Schey understands how ridiculous the premise is and never takes himself too seriously. Some of the situations Adam finds himself in are so completely absurd that you cannot help but laugh, even as the film continues to become increasingly horrifying.
But the film does have a bit of an empathy problem. During the Q&A at the film’s world premiere, it became quite clear from the cast and crew that we are not really supposed to feel sorry for Adam. We are not supposed to root for him; instead, we are supposed to be rooting for his demise. He is, essentially, a villainous protagonist. However, despite the cast and crew making that message quite clear during the Q&A, it unfortunately doesn’t come across nearly as effectively within the film itself.
While Adam is, by all means, a piece of shit who treats women terribly and deserves to be taught a lesson, you ultimately end up feeling bad for him throughout the film because his crimes don’t really fit the punishment. I understand the point that he is now the prey instead of the predator, but he hasn’t actually hurt any women beyond some hurt feelings and emotional manipulation. We never see him assault a woman; he is not portrayed as a rapist, and he is actually mostly respectful when it comes to sex. He certainly deserves to be called out for his behaviour, but he doesn’t deserve to be physically and almost sexually assaulted by women who suddenly find him irresistible.
Because of this, the film either needed to fully commit to making Adam a genuinely villainous character or make the story a little more nuanced in how it handles his transformation from predator to prey. It is quite clear that we are not supposed to feel sympathy for Adam, but ironically, that is exactly what ends up happening. The more the film punishes him, the more you find yourself feeling bad for him.
Overall, Everybody Wants to F*ck Me is a sharp, twisted, and incredibly funny dark satire about the often horrible reality of modern dating and the performances people put on to get what they want. While the film is far from perfect, Jonathan Schey has delivered a confident and wildly entertaining debut that successfully blends comedy, romance, horror, and social commentary into one wonderfully absurd package. There are certainly some issues with the film’s messaging and its approach to Adam as a protagonist, but there is no denying that Schey has made a film with a distinct voice and plenty of ambition. It is the kind of movie that will leave you laughing, cringing, and probably looking at your next date a little differently. If nothing else, Everybody Wants to F*ck Me is exactly the kind of chaotic, outrageous film that could soon become an essential date-night movie.
Everybody Wants to F*ck Me had its world premiere at the 2026 Toronto International Film Festival and is currently seeking U.S. and Canadian distribution.
P.S. To whoever buys this film, please do not change the title. The title is perfect for the film and perfectly conveys its message.
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