LOVE HURTS, BITCH!
Written by Mariane Tremblay
The Heart Eyes Killer is back, targeting couples once again—this time, in Seattle. Ally (Olivia Holt), a cynical advertising executive still recovering from a recent heartbreak, finds her job on the line when her latest love-themed campaign flops. It’s hard to sell love when your cynicism takes over—death isn’t exactly the best way to sell luxury jewellery, is it? After a classic meet-cute in a café on her way to work, Ally soon discovers that the charming stranger she just met (Mason Gooding) is actually in town to help fix her failing campaign—and potentially her career. But when they’re forced to work late on Valentine’s Day, the two coworkers are mistaken for a couple by the love-obsessed killer, turning their night into a fight for survival.
With its Scream (1996) vibes and killer charm, Heart Eyes strikes an entertaining balance between a slasher and rom-com (you read that right!)—it’s the ideal mix of cute and gory. It offers something for everyone to enjoy (unless you’re like Ally and have a fear of blood, in which case, you might want to skip this one… or just close your eyes during certain parts). Heart Eyes embraces its cheesiness without overdoing it, delivering enough bloodshed to satisfy horror fans, while adding a twist of dark comedy.
I have to admit, I walked into the theatre with zero expectations and was pleasantly surprised—I had a blast! B-movie slashers are BACK!
The chemistry between Holt and Gooding is effortless and electric—so much so that I can’t blame the Heart Eyes killer for mistaking them for lovers. Their natural connection adds to the fun of the film, making their banter and evolving relationship even more enjoyable, leaving you hoping they make it through the chaos—even though the romantic side in that kind of film tends to be kind of predictable…
The humour is spot on, with some lines that really made me laugh, especially those from Monica (Gigi Zumbado) and Ally—shoutout to the Hobbs & Shaw (2019) joke. The film’s quick 97-minute runtime keeps the momentum going, never allowing it to drag too much, and keeping you hooked from start to finish. The kills are satisfyingly messy, balancing blood and gore with a playful energy. Overall, Heart Eyes knows when to dial up the tension, keeping you on the edge of your seat, and when to lean into the romance or humour, offering moments of sweet levity.
While it doesn’t bring anything new to the table—sticking to familiar slasher and romance tropes—it’s still a fun, well-executed ride! You love slashers, but your partner prefers rom-coms? Or maybe it’s the other way around? Either way, Heart Eyes is the ultimate middle ground, making it the perfect Valentine’s Day watch.
Heart Eyes is now playing in theatres.
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